Beliefs
by MiKy
Summary: How far does the heart forgive and the eyes don't see when blinded by a forbidden love? What happens if the love is for your sister's husband?
1. Beliefs

**Beliefs.**

She closed her eyes in attempt to catch the distant murmur of the trees blowing through the unfortunate leaves still attached to the bare trees. Her white dress flapped in the wind, her slender hands clasped her chest as if to imprint the feeling she got everytime while looking at her childhood memories.

This was in fact the immense garden which embraced the big colonial house where she grew up with her parents and her big sister. She knew every little path and every turn of the little brook following the perimeter of the land her father owned, by heart. Then, checking if some prying eye was watching her, she rested her pale, white hand on the ground.

She was still performing this odd ritual when her sister appeared around the bend and caught her in a moment of profound awe.

Her sister laughed feebly, as if she was trying to express her amusement in a polite way. She wouldn't want to disturb Layla's moments of pure concentration; she had learned to accept her sister's strange connection to nature with the years and, truth be told, she was even a little envious.

Layla sensed her presence behind her shoulder and, with a quick, almost invisible movement she turned around to meet her glare. A defiant smile widening on her rosy lips.

"It's unbelievable how this place has remained untouched by the years. Would you believe it still smells the same?"

Her shimmering eyes travelled from tree to tree, meeting every detail in the meanwhile. Kaylah smiled inwardly at her sister's juvenile curiosity.

"What is unbelievable to me is you still finding it attractive. I sometime wonder if you're still the little wide-eyed girl who used to come out here and stay for ages. I recall one time I actually thought I'd lost you. Mom was going absolutely crazy."

Layla attempted a weary smile and, flatting the rebellious waves in her hair, she assumed a much more sober expression; much to her sister's pleasure.

"I just need to relive those moments, you know? I was so carefree and joyous then. I still miss that naivety I have to admit."

Kaylah dropped her attentive gaze on her protuberant belly, caressing the life growing inside her with a distant smile, a smile Layla couldn't understand.

"Don't you ever feel the desire to grow up? To raise a family and perhaps settling down? You're not that girl anymore Layla even if you don't want to admit it."

The moment was gone; with a casual assumption like that Kaylah managed to disturb even the remotest of Layla's thought. She gazed back, resisting to the temptation to tell her how things were… how she wanted that but couldn't. Instead she endeavoured a smile and continued to travel around the garden with her eyes.

"I'm not you Kay. I have no intentions to suffocate my life with unwanted complications. I still have so much to do."

She lied, pressing her lips so tightly together that it hurt.

"Somehow though you're not living up to these rebellious thoughts; you're not living Layla. You're surviving with the conviction of something that isn't right. You know it isn't."

Kaylah persisted in trying to convince her little sister of the mistakes she was making with her life. She had seen her grow distant and cold during the last years; as almost something had died inside of her and there wasn't a reasonable explanation. At least not that she would know of.

"You don't know anything about my life."

Layla was now starting to lose her cool. It was hard to face her, to talk to her as if nothing happened. As if nothing was happening.

"You're right. I don't know you anymore Layla and I regret whatever made us drift apart; but I love you and I don't want to see you waste your life away. I want you to find love. I assure you that is the key to everything."

Layla looked perplexed by Kaylah's sudden statement. Love. She had no idea of the pain and dread it hid to her. She nodded unwillingly, reluctant to bring the conversation further for it may have reached a breaking point in which there was no turning back. That was the last thing she wanted. Hurt her; even if it was just a little too late to think about that now.

"I'll try. I think it's best that we get back now though; mom is already fussing too much with preparing us this lunch."

Layla swallowed the resentment and pulled off a smile which seemed so sincere it could have fooled anyone. Kaylah on top of it.

"Middle age has worked in mysterious ways upon her, hasn't it? She never even touched the stoves back in the days."

Kaylah sighted, laying a perfectly pale hand upon the ever growing belly. It was enormous and Layla couldn't believe how she could carry it around. How could she be carrying the fruit of a treacherous love like hers with such ease.

Unawareness was the only solution, since Layla was the deceitful sister who was having affairs with her sister's husband.

Layla grimaced to the ground before agreeing. She had to weigh all her words carefully around so that nothing unwanted might have slipped out. She was simply not ready to give up on the love she felt for her sister's husband, even if it was dirty and unfaithful; hadn't her very own sister said that it was the key to everything?

"Mom has never been ordinary for as much as I can recall."

Layla whispered, her footsteps silent and quick in opposite of her sister's ones who sounded struggled; almost too heavy to be hers.

"That's true… Have you seen Harry around, perhaps?"

Kaylah meant the question to be completely honest but Layla was struck down by terror. His mere name was able to send shivers of horror down her spine and, with some little coughs, she tried to regain some composure before giving something away.

"I absolutely didn't. I don't know why you'd think I could have seen him."

Layla was never too good with putting on a brave face and keep on as if it was nothing and Kaylah could understand she was trying to hide something from her, but she was way too tired to maintain an arguing with her feisty sister and instead, squared her shoulders and smiled a little.

"No reason. I just wondered if you might had. I haven't seen him since I left him talking with mum and we all know Harry is not much of a fan of mum's small talk."

Layla relaxed her tense muscles and let her eyes wonder free again to the immense garden they were leaving behind them now.

"I could imagine. Dad's the only one capable of maintaining a straight face while mum talks gibberish."

Kaylah laughed heartedly and patted a hand on Layla's bony shoulders. Her face glowing like only a pregnant woman's one could.

"It's not much gibberish as utter incoherent reviews of some of the stories and gossips she hears while at bingo."

Layla returned the smile and bit her bottom lip as she was used to when words just struggled to come out. Not that she didn't enjoy talking to her sister, but she just felt constantly guilty around her and protective that the fun was drained from those little talks she used to enjoy. The threat of the unbearable truth was always hanging over them.

"Kay… have you ever been unsure whether to tell the truth or to lie for everybody's sake?"

Layla shocked herself with her very own statement. Kaylah's eyes were wide and surprised by the sudden question. It was not only a question; it was a declaration that Layla was keeping something from her.

"Never."

Kaylah whispered, feeling her knuckles whitening for she was clasping her hands together so tightly that the blood failed to reach them.

"Never?"

Layla echoed, a much more surprised tone that she would have intended to maintain.

"I see no point in lying for it hurts ten times harder than the truth could."

Layla scowled; she knew that Kaylah didn't mean that but she was trying to sweeten her up and to talk her into telling her the secret Layla knew she had recognized.

"I think those are overrated beliefs. Truth sometimes it's harder than it appears."

Layla smiled once more before pacing up and leaving Kaylah behind, with all the doubts and worries growing inside her. Layla was becoming more of a mystery as each second passed; and it was not clear whether it was a good mystery or a disastrous one.

Kaylah followed with the eyes the distant figures of her husband and her sister, exchanging what might have seemed an innocent greeting; then Harry looked over her and waved; running towards her leaving a fluttering white Layla behind and Kaylah could have sworn to have seen a tear strolling down her cheek as she was watching towards her.

Harry finally approached her and, with a quick and impish smile he greeted her with a light peck on the cheek; as he always did.

"Your mum's really a talker! I couldn't get out of there until your father came to the rescue."

Harry stole a glance behind his shoulders and checked if Layla was still watching, but she had seemed to be inside of the house.

"Have you noticed something weird about Layla lately?"

Kaylah glared at her husband profoundly before accepting his confused face as a reply.

"She just seems so strange…I was talking to her before and she kept coming up with something about the truth as overrated and… I think you better keep an eye on yourself."

Harry almost chocked on his own constraint of keeping a relaxed composure. Layla had slipped a little too far with her guilt and now he was the one paying the consequences.

"I think she means no harm, honey."

Kaylah looked more peaceful, as if talking to Harry was wiping some of the doubts away. It had always been like that and Harry was capable of getting what he wanted from his wife with just one look.

"I'm not saying that she means to harm you… I think she has, I don't know. It seemed as if she was…wanting you."

Deciphering Layla's means was harder than it looked like and Kaylah was just getting a little resentful, reading in his husband's face a sort of contentment.

"Wanting me? Am I that handsome that I can charm both of the Johnson ladies?"

Harry giggled lightly, managing to bow out with just one stupid joke. He looked at his wife and the mental picture of Layla popped in his mind.

They were so different, in everything they did… and, as a consequence, they managed to provoke different feelings in Harry's heart.

Kaylah had always been the caring one, the reliable and the perfect wife to sport around. She was quite charming but more in a motherly way; as almost she was living in her mother's shadow.

Layla was the absolute opposite. She was wild and unruly; passionate and defiant but loving and sweet when somebody was able to win her over. She was by far the prettiest of the two; with her black hair cascading on her back in gentle waves and her light blue shimmering eyes.

Harry had to sweat a great deal more to conquer her attentions, first, because at the beginning Layla was just considering him as her sister's husband. Off the market to quote her.

But then, when he did, he had been living the best years of his life; full of passion, happiness, secrecy and burning feelings.

Kaylah laughed and Harry snapped out of his daydreams.

"Yeah, you wish… just be cautious ok? It might be the hormones talking by now but I'm not getting a good vibe from her today."

Harry never responded to that warning but instead walked his wife to the house; a desire of seeing Layla and having her by his side growing stronger each minute.

Layla was leaning over the sink, her reflection was clearly sporting an unfashionable frown. She couldn't help feeling the jealousy burning her up. She had sworn that she would have never deceived to that foolish feeling but now; now that she was able to see with her eyes the double life that she and Harry were leading she just felt dirty, and not able to maintain her calm.

She grabbed feverishly a box of tissues and grabbed one with a wrath of anger that was so unlike her.

All of this was so unlike her.

She was about to trash it when the door of the bathroom swung open, revealing a smiling Harry on the other side. His breath was ragged as if he had been running up the stairs and his eyes were full of a desire she had not seen in a long time.

"Is there something wrong?"

She looked at him grinning a little more wider and knew immediately that there was no problem, just a desire which transpired in his every feature. Layla stupidly wondered how could he keep his cool with Kaylah around.

"You got me in so much trouble. Fortunately Kaylah is not bright enough to read between the lines."

Layla sighted and with her hand she moved away some locks of hair. Harry was creeping closer now and she knew what would have happened if she decided not to talk.

"You realise it's your wife you're insulting, right?"

Harry stopped on his tracks but the devilish grin seemed to have no intention to vanish.

Layla couldn't stop longing for him, not even then.

"I'm not insulting her… I'm just reporting the mere facts. You should be pleased if I prefer you over her."

Harry covered the few steps he needed to get to her and engulfed her in a warm embrace. He buried his nose in her hair and intoxicated himself with the sweet perfume of lilies.

Layla closed her eyes too and stopped her mind for a minute, wanting to enjoy the moments she could get. Those moments Harry could steal from his possessive wife.

"I'm trying not to believe that Harry."

Harry detached from her and swirled her on her feet, so he could meet her resigned expression.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Layla rolled her eyes and tried to avoid eye contact; she could feel his look lingering on her.

"Because I might believe that and I would, once again, wonder how come you're still caught in this position after two years."

Harry was not smiling anymore. His face was twisted in an anxious and pondering expression.

"You know I wouldn't. You know I'd prefer to stay with you but I can't; not with the baby coming. Maybe later on…when things settle down."

Layla attempted a smile but she felt more serious than ever. Talking with Kaylah had made her realise what a horrible thing she was doing and now she could only think of that way to lead things back to normal. Divorce. It felt like such a big word.

"I know you won't Harry. The timing will never be good enough and you know that. I just wish there could be a way for you and I to live happily without being so careful around each other. I'd like to just, claim to love you, to be yours for once and to feel like I am the only one."

His laugh was now genuine; he grabbed her hand and pushed her head on his chest.

"You are the only one and I'll promise you time will come for us to be all those things. I just… love you too much to give up on you."

Layla sighed and buried her face deeper in the wrinkles of his sweater. He smelled of cologne and Layla was not capable to resist to his words. She once again felt like Harry was the only thing that mattered.

"I love you."

Harry couldn't resist anymore: he pressed his lips on hers and lost himself in a passionate kiss which left them gasping for air.

Layla intertwined her fingers on the back of his head and climbed on his torso, her legs now snuggled around his chest. The white dress climbing up on her thigh with Harry's hand.

"You know we can't do that now."

She whispered, her lust-filled sighs betraying her actual words. She wanted him as much as he was. There was no denying.

"Who's to say what we can and can't do? I just…want…you."

He started kissing her neck, leaving an invisible trace of saliva at his passage. Layla suddenly realised the thing she was about to do and pushed him away with as much force as she could use.

"NO! Harry… no."

Harry snarled something and, with a grotesque and unhappy frown he slammed the little door behind his back leaving Layla gasping for breath; as she always seemed to be.

She quickly chased away the impulse of running after him as she knew Harry wouldn't have resisted longer and would have turned round and ask for explanations for the rejection; Harry held an itchy spot for them.

She heard footsteps on the other side of the wall and she didn't even look up when Harry supposedly entered the room.

"You know perfectly well why I can't do it. I don't want to start arguing with you again."

Layla waited for him to say something but all that was given to her in response where quickening breaths. Breaths of a confused person. They were not Harry's.

"I honestly have no idea of what you intend by that."

Layla recognized her sister's shrill voice and thanked her inner self for not saying something more revealing.

It could have been a bloodbath. Literally.

"I…never mind. It's not important at all."

She was at lack of intelligent alibis. Lies had gotten the best of her in those days that her mind was refusing to cook more up; only for the simple fact that they kept getting worse as progressing.

Kaylah sighted loudly so that Layla's petite frame was shook by a shiver of surprise. Kaylah didn't even attempt to laugh.

"It seemed pretty important to me. So much that it could start an argument?"

Layla shook her head and, with the most innocent look she could assume she smiled audaciously.

"You think I'd let go that easily if I hadn't labelled it irrelevant?

Kaylah pondered for a while and Layla caught the occasion and slithered behind her to close the door.

Harry was waiting outside of the door with a defiant smile which managed to bring Layla to the edge of losing her patience.

"I accidentally ran by her and couldn't keep her from talking with her beloved sister. Hope that wasn't too much of a hassle for you."

Layla sniffed resentfully and shot him a burning glare.

"Pull your little games with someone else Harry Judd. I'm no match for you."

And she quickly fastened her pace to join her waiting family in the kitchen, not even bothering to look twice behind her shoulders where Harry was flicking his tongue, amused by it all.

"There is something wrong with her, I tell you."

Kaylah's voice reached his ears like a bullet; he had completely forgotten for a minute he had brought her there and had informed her he'd have waited for her to finish talking in the spot where he was standing.

"I'd dare say there is not much we can actually do. If she's odd that's by her own making. Her sister looks pretty sane to me."

His stunt made Kaylah giggle like a schoolgirl and her shrilly laugh was so noisy that Harry couldn't help but wanting to find a way to shut her up. He longed for Layla's smooth and seductive voice, which was able to send shivers of pleasure down his spine.

It was ridiculous to him how much the two sisters he was dealing with could be different from one another and could have such different reactions on his subconscious.

"Sane is a pretty daring word actually. I feel like I'm carrying a whale in my belly; my feet hurt like hell and I'm starved."

Harry looked at her and felt a shot of disgust at the sight of her pregnancy.

He was no fan of the mother/father position Kaylah was so eager to reach. He, in fact, was no fan of kids at all.

"I think you're beautiful."

His eyes gave him away as he said it but Kaylah was basking in her pregnant glory to actually notice a change in them. She accepted the compliment light-heartedly and pointed her protuberant belly towards the staircase.

"Are you coming or are you planning on staying there all afternoon?"

Harry curled his lips in a little smile and watched her descend the stairs with a kind of goofy walk that much resembled a goat on its first steps.

.He readjusted his hair, catching a glimpse of his reflection on the mirror across the bathroom.

Harry Judd had become somebody he himself had a hard time recognizing.

His face was constantly plastered with a mischievous grin and his once starry eyes were now black and deep. His soul was dirty as his looks. How could Kaylah and Layla ignore the changes they were bringing into his life? How could everyone ignore his new self? The only question was how nobody could notice it.

"Couldn't resist admiring yourself, could you?"

Layla soft words brushed against his cheek and he could feel her warm breath on his neck. He closed his eyes and savoured the sensation it was bringing.

"I think it's the other way around dear."

Layla giggled in his neck and continued brushing her nose up and down his neck.

"Keep dreaming, and if you're so eager to sport your cheesy lines you can save them for lunch. Mom sent me up here to fetch you."

Harry turned around and tried to maintain a defiant grin on his face; he hated every moment where he let himself vulnerable and with Layla it was becoming more and more of a custom.

"I think she's actually starting to grow a liking on me, maybe even too much."

Layla tried to act as if his words hadn't managed to get her all tensed up but they did. Every single joke Harry tried to pull managed to increase her pulse rate.

"Do me and my sister failed to satisfy your needs? That's really demeaning of you."

Harry laughed and spared others lines, he only slithered down the stairs, never keeping an eye off Layla who was trying to order her knees to support her shaking figure.

It was too much even for her to bare. The afternoon was still long and she couldn't manage to resist at the pressure.

She fixed some locks behind her ears and straightened the dress who was still suffering from the harsh treatments in the bathroom not long before. She pulled a smile and reached her family; faking an happy expression. If she couldn't bare the thought of them knowing something she sure couldn't handle questions.

"Took you long enough huh?"

Her sister shrilled, grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards everybody, almost forcing her to join the conversation.

"I… needed to check something."

Harry kinked his eyebrow and smiled at a beaming Kaylah. She was rubbing her belly so furiously that Layla wondered how could the baby stand such a treatment.

"Please, don't share too much or we might start to wonder if you're feeling well."

Layla gasped in horror at the unfortunate assumption but her family simply laughed, directing their hungry mouths towards a meal which looked less than appealing. Kaylah was in the lead and her parents were already in the kitchen. She grabbed Harry's wrist angrily.

"Another stunt like that and I promise you I will make this lunch a living hell for you."

Harry looked at his fiery eyes and failed to suppress a chuckle.

"I'd love to see you trying so hard but unfortunately I'm too much of a good person to ever do that."

Layla laughed now, Harry couldn't take things seriously and that irritated her.

"You really think that?"

Harry smiled at the doorframe and he leaned to reach her ear.

"No; I don't. Beliefs are somehow hard to pull down. If they only knew what impure thoughts I'm having in this moment."

Layla swallowed her clear signs of curiosity and even excitement.

"About who?"

Harry pulled her close and, caressing the back of her neck he whispered.

"Are you even asking? Let's eat now… If you manage."

Layla chuckled indifferently and looked at him with a resigned glance.

"I'm not even trying to understand what you mean with that."

Harry shook his head and joined the family merrily, as if the conversation between him and Layla never took place.

It was frustrating, it was everything she swore she would have never wanted in a man yet she couldn't pull away, she didn't want to and this was her biggest fear: become too dependent on him. She knew the boundaries and the oppositions their relationship had to struggle with, yet, she didn't mind so much if Harry could be by her side when she wanted to.

It was her sin.

Kaylah looked at her questioningly and restrained the impulse of telling her off. Her behaviours and the sultry innuendos were starting to annoy her.

"Layla, what's on your mind?"

Layla looked at the happy portrait of her family and felt isolated by it. She was not a part of it anymore. She was the reject of someone she used to be. Layla Johnson was not part of her family anymore and she couldn't be sadder about it.

The only thing pulling her nearer was Harry's smile, which seemed strangely sympathetic and loving.

"I was thinking we should do this more often. I missed you guys."

The lie was able to tranquillize everyone and soon the chatting started again. Layla joining them but feeling more misplaced than ever.

This was family, and she wasn't able to enjoy it. This was the downside of living a side affair with her sister's husband; after a certain point it became difficult living a lie.


	2. Enraptured

**Enraptured.**

Her eyes were the same size as the moon that night and her pallid fingers led trials on the old futon she inherited from the dead grandmother. That particular piece of furniture could just capture her true essence, she could just sit there for days hiding out from the world outside.

A curly lad was peacefully sitting beside her that night though. Silence ran between them and his eyes were completely captured in the fringes of one of the cushions she randomly threw on the futon.

She was just staring into the darkness, sensing a particular tension between them in the night.

An attentive observer could have caught the eyes of the lad twitching in her direction from time to time, full of that silent desperation one could see in a disappointed man. A glance which couldn't leave behind a trace of passionate, unrequited love.

"Is it just me or are you mad at me for something?"

Her crystalline voice didn't reveal signs of emotion or surprise; it was startlingly flat and emotionless, as almost she couldn't care less for his annoyance.

"I'm not going through this again. Actually I was making my mind up on going; my presence you need not it seems."

He, on the other hand, was quaking with inconstant emotions; he travelled from anger to frustration. The pair of them made a quite interesting portrait of friends, ones that pierced each other with irony and nuisance.

"Don't! I don't understand you!"

Finally she showed some emotions, her hand rapidly opposed his attempt of an exodus and her eyes, still as big as one couldn't have imagined, pierced his with a convulsive plea.

"How could you? Haven't you got some respect for yourself left? I'm not asking for much… just one tiny, little spark of dignity."

His angry voice echoed in the apartment and for the first time Layla couldn't stand his intense glance, instead she turned her eyes on the trail she was leaving with her fingers, faking a nonchalance she had already lost.

"I have dignity…"

The lad laughed mockingly, he was standing upright now and his posture seemed to be accusing her more from the top.

"It seems that the lies have got the best of you."

Layla sprang from her sitting position and fixed her rebellious eyes on his.

"Weren't you supposed to be friendly like…I don't know… a friend?"

The curly lad shook his head, resigned to pursue a debate with her because he knew she would have never understood. Not now at least. Not now that Harry was playing with her mind in that way.

"I'm being a friend. I'm helping you understand what a horrible mistake you're making."

Layla sighed loudly and engulfed the lad in a bone-crushing hug. She inhaled a whiff of cologne from his neck and finally rested her chin on his steady shoulder. Some tears rolled down her cheek and landed on his clean shirt.

He made no attempt to liberate himself, actually he enjoyed being in such close contact with her and brought her shaking figure closer to him so he could stroke her hair with a concern that deviated a little from simple friendship.

"I don't ask you to understand this Danny…I'm just asking you to support me. You at least."

Danny closed his eyes and exhaled unenthusiastically.

"How could I? He's married Layla…with your sister! Doesn't it just feel…wrong?"

Layla extricated herself away from his arms and looked at him with conceitedly. She was able to regain her pride and deliberation in less than a second.

"It certainly does not. It feels wonderfully good. He belongs with me, Danny."

Danny laughed scornfully and moved from the living room to the kitchen, promptly followed by a swaggering Layla, standing her position.

"He belongs with whom he married. You're just wasting your time Layla. Trust me."

Layla threw a little punch at his back; her eyes twitching with anger and with a pride which was so unlike her to have in Danny's presence. The two of them had been friends for over three years now but these moments surely tested both their tolerance.

"Do not lecture me! I'm grown girl and I make my own decision if you must care."

Danny was shocked and didn't even try to maintain composure now. All his true colors led to the words flowing from his mouth.

"If I must care? Of course I care! I don't want you to just waste your life away with that callous prat!"

Layla breathed slowly and clenched her fists on her sides.

"He has done nothing but treat me with regard."

Danny laughed harder, bewildered by Layla's blindness and defences.

"We're not talking about a date you had Layla. This is your sister's husband, not to say one of my bandmates! How could you actually believe I'd care if he treats you with regard? He's cheating with you for goodness sake. Cheating his wife who is also expecting their child! This is the worst, messed up situation I've ever know."

Layla was now listening in silence, not able to maintain a straight-face she was now crying silently, keeping a fuming eye to Danny who seemed shocked by his own words.

"I don't care whether you think it's right or wrong. I love Harry and I'm going to be with him for as much as he pleases."

Danny looked away, unable to look at her without shouting the truth. The truth of how he couldn't sleep at night thinking of Harry being with her and he on the sidelines, just watching her fade away with each passing day.

"I can't watch you ruin everything like that, I can't."

Layla felt her cheeks blaze with a sudden fury she hadn't felt in a long time. Danny was hitting her last nerve and for as much as she could love him, he just couldn't understand. He wouldn't.

"Then don't bother coming back and watch it all happen again."

Danny turned swiftly, his eyes narrowed and his breath stopped in his throat. He could not believe Layla had said that.

"You just think it's all that easy, don't you?"

Danny had assumed a tone of voice which much resembled a patient parent talking to his whimsical daughter. Layla just fumed more than ever, it was so easy for her to get angry at him. He was the only person who knew and could turn her rage into something useful, like advice. Somehow that day didn't seem to be the same as the others, Danny was really resigned by all of the useless talks.

"Isn't it?"

Her voice suddenly became so clear, her eyes were fixed on his with such a depth that time seemed to froze for Danny. He got lost while looking at her.

"Danny. Isn't it?"

Danny snapped to reality in record time, it all seemed such a blur. He had to tell her how he really felt about the whole thing. About her.

"I just don't understand how could you enjoy being treated like that."

His breath was lacking and Layla seemed to slither nearer and nearer, making his heart beat faster. She was now right in front of his eyes, looking up at him with a sweet look that was so different from the one she had before.

"That's what love is, sweetie. Sacrifice."

Danny remained silent for a moment, just enjoying that moment which seemed so perfect. Layla seemed so perfect.

"I know something about sacrifice myself."

Layla was careful enough not to burst into laughter. It was impossible to assume Danny was joking seeing that his face was contorted in a sort of aching expression. He just seemed so… reluctant to let her be happy.

"I don't think you mean it as I mean it though."

Danny scratched his chin and looked at her with an amused face, but it was so pitifully amused that it moved something inside her. She had never seen that side of him… the side that was so aimlessly, selfishly unyielding.

"It's amazing how you think you're the only one who has been in love. You are just so blind Layla…"

The words that were full of passionate rage before were now turning into a sharp and pointy knife. Layla felt that metaphorical knife stabbing her several times when Danny's clear blue eyes fixed on hers with such a stern look which somehow, seemed full of love. What if she was really blind and the reason for all this fuss was because Danny shared an untold feeling for her?

"Then tell me what's wrong. You've built up a wall and it seems you want to keep me from knowing things. I want to know what goes inside you head. I love you Danny."

Danny's heart missed a beat at those words, but he soon regained some composure for those words didn't mean what he was waiting to hear. Not in that way.

"Why would you care? Haven't you got Harry to share anecdotes with?"

Layla didn't bother to reply, waiting for an acceptable answer as she was. She was just standing there, her arms crossed on her chest and a hint of a tender smile appearing on her lips.

"You wouldn't want to hear what I'm about to say."

Layla shrugged and smiled a little.

"I think I do."

Danny breathed deeply, Layla was so close to him that the hair moved away from her face as he did this. He felt dizzy and the scent of coconut from her hair was intoxicating him. He had to do something.

"You know what I'll say Layla… you've always known."

Danny had closed his eyes in the meantime, Layla was still smiling cunningly all the while. Being in such proximity with Danny was bringing her strange feelings. Good feelings.

"I need to hear it from your lips Danny. I can't just imagine what you're probably thinking. I need certainties."

Danny's hands were twitching uncontrollably, he had balled them up into fists but still they seemed to be longing for Layla. Her black hair swung imperceptibly from side to side and her eyes were full of expectation. He could have sworn to distinguish a little spark of that lust that was possessing him in her very same eyes.

"I can give you certainties."

He whispered before throwing all cautions in the air and locking lips with a slightly taken aback Layla.

Awe. The only thing that was controlling Danny's brain in that moment, pure and utter awe of the startlingly beautiful woman he had loved from the very beginning.

The moment had been so swift and so silent that she herself realised her actions when it was a little too late to take it all back.

The most amazing thing was that she was having no intentions to stop; Danny's lips seemed to know the right way across hers and his nose, gently tingling her cheek, was able to send shivers she never felt, not even with Harry. These were not simple lust shivers… these were adoration shivers.

Of course, Harry had always been the alluring, upper-class boy with an aura of smugness around him all the time; he had that x-factor able to make even the most reluctant girl in the world quiver with desire.

Danny…well; Danny was Danny. He was adorably funny, always the helper and the counsellor, the one who dried her tears day and night and never complained, the one making her eat all kinds of disgusting things, the one rolling on the grass with her in the park… the one playing pranks on the others, the one with an amazing voice but little self-esteem, the one who was incredibly sweet and incredibly stubborn, the one who always had her back, the one who had always loved her with no exceptions.

Danny pulled back after what seemed an hour passing by and, holding her head in his hands he breathed calmly, thinking of the right words to say to apologize for his behaviour.

Layla seemed speechless, she was just standing there, staring at his half-closed eyes, a new feeling rising in her soul, a feeling which she much had wished never started to grow in the first place, it was all too complicated already.

"Layla… I'm sorry, I just…"

Great. He was stuttering again. Layla however was neither moved nor upset. She seemed to be pondering about it all.

"I know you have Harry, it's just that…oh god…it's just that it's so damn hard"

Layla smiled awkwardly and touched his nose with her index finger so lightly that it could have been a feather.

"Typical of you Danny. Making me question everything all over again."

Danny's jaw dropped open on its own will. He was surprised to see that Layla wasn't upset or anything, but listening her talking about questioning her relationship with Harry for him was too much his already too happy heart could take.

"What do you mean?"

He was walking on mined land, but he had to know all the truth, he just couldn't build himself up on something that might have never happened.

"What could I say? I'm starting to think I'm in no better position than Harry's."

Danny's quizzical expression needn't to speak.

"My heart is torn between two guys and I haven't the slightest idea what to do about it."

Layla's smile was big but her eyes were really troubled, she was trying so hard to think about Harry and to find a reason to step back and walk out of the door but she simply couldn't. Danny's eyes were attracting her like a magnet.

"Please tell me at least one of them it's me."

Layla laughed bitterly and nodded childishly, so unlike her smile still widening against her wishes.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

Danny looked taken aback by the question, he couldn't bring his mind up what to tell her…maybe because there wasn't a simple reason apart from her being completely caught in Harry's means.

"I can think of one name why I haven't…"

Layla shushed him before letting him finish, it was not the answer she was seeking.

"Before all that."

Danny didn't know what to answer. It was driving him crazy… Layla was waiting for an answer, an answer that could have changed everything that he simply couldn't give her.

"I don't know… maybe I didn't feel that way about you in the beginning."

Layla looked disappointed, she couldn't exactly tell why she was but Danny had given her the nudge to walk out the door. It couldn't be. She needed something more than uncertainty.

"Right. I gotta go. I guess I'll…see you?"

Danny stood all the while, cursing his damn brain for not having thought of something more satisfying. He himself wouldn't have been satisfied by it.

"These were not the words I surely meant to say while being in this situation, actually I would have never thought it could came true…you were so… dreamlike to me. You were so unreachable."

Layla froze on her steps, a resigned expression on her dreamy face.

"That's what's wrong Danny. You're liking the chase more than the prey."

Danny, aghast by the unlike turn of events, ran to her and grabbed her shoulders with more wrath that he intended. He was now determined not to let her leave like that, carrying his dream even further away.

"This is not a chase Layla. You have no idea of how I've been torturing myself for months and months, knowing you would have never come to me or think of me in that way. I wanted to be true to you and to Harry by standing in the shadows, playing the part of the confidante so I could spend just a little time with you. You are not the prey I can sport around oh so proudly; you're a…dream. You're my dream."

Layla couldn't hold tears falling from her eyes, seeing him so afraid, so unsure about what to do, so driven by love was holding her brain in a quarrel. One part of her screamed to stop pursuing the crazy relationship she had with Harry and let herself loose in Danny's arms, but the other just seemed to be fixating on the fact that Harry was sure ground, Danny was not. Danny was…shaky and insecure, so like herself.

"I'm not a dream Danny, this is something I fear you'll never understand! Sure I can just throw to hell all of that I've built up with Harry but I got to be sure it's for something I really want, something I can rely on. Danny…you know I adore you but…"

Danny shook his head, crying himself at this point.

"You're not getting it, are you? I'm enraptured by all of those things you do, the way you kink your eyebrows when you're upset, the way you mess all the couch cushions; I can recognize when you're laughing truthfully or when you're laughing just to be polite. I can name all of the imaginary friends you had in kindergarten…damn, I can even tell you what they did and how they looked like. I know that you like your tea with one spoonful of sugar and a half of cinnamon with marshmallows floating on top, even if you don't like admitting you like it that way. I can name all the single colours in your eyes and tell you how they change in relation to your mood. I'm enraptured by you. I love you."

Layla was speechless. All the things she meant to say to stand her point were slowly just vanishing away.

"But what about Harry?"

Danny grabbed her hands and looked tenderly in her eyes, she was caving in… he was going down the right path.

"What about him? I bet he can't name one of the many things I listed now for you. I bet he can't because he just doesn't know you. He doesn't love you. He just…wants you to be with you."

Layla closed her eyes and let the lonely tears drop from her cheeks to the beautiful carpet they were standing on.

"How would you know?"

Danny pondered for a while and smiled; a little clumsy smile spread on his lips that made him look even more adorable that he already was.

"Did he ever tell you he loved you?"

Layla was about to respond affirmatively but then, thinking it over, she couldn't recall one single time he said that. He actually never said that. Well…they hardly ever spoke to say the truth.

"No. But there's more than you could know."

Danny looked more deeply into her eyes and saw some tears escaping from them. This was serious; there was something Layla wasn't telling him or anybody. Some secret she had decided to keep from anybody.

"Will I ever know or am I just wasting my time asking?"

Layla dried some tears with the back of her hand and shifted away from him, her lips tightened in a weary smile.

"You may know one day, who knows."

And she added nothing more, closing the door of the bedroom behind her, shutting for a moment all the problems and the worries behind it.


End file.
